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There's Trouble in Store

THERE'S TROUBLE IN STOREWorking in a large organisation must be quite depressing at times.  Just think - whenever a famous person dies, someone at Wikipedia has to change all the verbs into the past tense.  While fighting back tears, if they admired the deceased. Is there such a publication as Who Was Who?

I've had very few dealings in my life with big business enterprises, except for cramp in my fingers from writing cheques to cover their bills.  Once credit cards came along, of course, there was no longer any need to pay them much more than a pittance, at least I think that's the arrangement, and a welcome one, too, since I've never been good with money.  Money has frequently returned the compliment.

Part of the problem with mega-operations is that such entities develop their own jargon.  A stock market analyst once said to me, "Don't sell Noah short, he was a brilliant investor who floated stock while everything else went into liquidation." I nodded dumbly.  Nowadays I tend to avoid going anywhere near large corporate edifices - I have a building complex complex.

David AitkenBut that will all change tomorrow, or symbolic tomorrow.  Some business ventures are now too expensive for their own survival, and will be unable to prosper without the feeding frenzy of customers who disappeared during Covid lockdowns and weren't tempted back by false stutter-starts.  They are, to all intents and purposes, doomed.  Doomed, I tell you, doomed!  You heard it here first, this is a scoop.       

After the collapse of the unsustainable giants, I predict that pint-sized dealerships will come along to fill the void. Microbreweries will become even smaller. Teensy-weensy breweries, not even pint-sized.  Did you know that pop-up shops sprang to life selling bespoke face coverings? how much more friendly human society seemed, once you could address someone by the name on their face mask.  (Unless a large Frown-Emoji was printed on it.)

Inventive carpenters now whittle tiny tables for diminished groups of determined consumers of nouvelle cuisine; small factories have started building aeroplanes for no more than 2 pupils, I mean 6 travellers at a time; and when it comes to home entertainment, virtually anything (or anything virtual) is available.  

Play tennis with your uncle in India from the safety of your own (if not his) living room, but use chalk for the baselines, white paint might ruin your carpet, unless it is white too.  There is even some talk of machines that allow you to play two virtual sports at the same time, club in one hand, rapier in the other - rather like my writing style, both might leave you temporarily cross-eyed.

I imagine the big beasts like Amazon and Google will survive, because they are the modern equivalent of our corner shop.  My local corner shop never closed - I even knew the name of the girl who delivered my morning paper, because she had it written on her face mask. Now that was forward thinking. Especially when it came to addressing something in an envelope on Boxing Day.        


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