Mistakes expats make (and how to avoid them). As an intercultural psychologist and expat coach, I have heard a lot of people’s experiences about moving abroad. I have narrowed it down to 3 mistakes expats frequently make. I also give some suggestions to deal with the issues so you don't get trapped in them too.
MISTAKE #1
“I’ve lived abroad before; I’m used to it and it’s going to be easy”.
You’ve travelled a lot, have lived abroad, and therefore believe you are immune to all the emotional upheaval of cultural adjustment. You might be one of the few that adjust well no matter where and when. But if you’re like most of us, throughout your life things change, and our priorities are different.
Ultimately, we’re not the same throughout the years. What does that mean? It means that when we lived abroad as a single person our challenges are different than as a couple moving internationally.
If you have children, there are different challenges altogether. If you’re an empty nester, there are no children around and priorities shift yet again.
Besides all these changes, your financial or professional situation might be different, the country you’re moving to is possibly one where you have never lived before.
Having lived abroad before gives you experience and can be an advantage. However, previous experiences can also create expectations that prevent you from living fully in the present moment in this new country.
My suggestion is to take stock of the lessons from past experiences knowing that today you are in a different situation and probably have different priorities- don't let the "I know it all" belief prevent you from facing the beauty and challenges of your current international move.
MISTAKE #2
“This is my chance to start fresh and leave all the problems behind”
This might be unconscious and take a while for you to acknowledge it. The thing about this mistake where we focus our attention: when we position ourselves as fleeing or avoiding something we are, unconsciously, putting our
attention on exactly what we want to avoid.
Many times, the issues we face in life – regardless of where we are – are all about how we deal with the challenges we are presented with.
Also, the problems are usually within us and moving countries doesn’t change anything. It might even make the problems worse because we’re so out of our comfort zone.
Access with brutal honesty what you are trying to avoid and re-frame it into a positive view. Be realistic about your motives for moving.
MISTAKE #3
“The most important thing is to deal with the logistics"
Having a roof over your head and the papers in order is crucial. But preparing emotionally is equally important and frequently overlooked when preparing for an international period abroad.
Understanding your objectives, what you gain, and lose with your move is critical for a smooth transition. Knowing the reasons why you decided to move are important because it will determine your mindset, and your mindset can set you up for failure or success. It all depends on how conscious you are of it.
I suggest you be clear about your objectives with the move. Know what you gain and lose from the move. What do you want to move for? What do you want to accomplish?
READ PART 1 & 2 of Move Overseas With Ease here.
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About me
I am an expat coach and intercultural psychologist. I am also a seasoned expat, born in Brazil, and lived my childhood in the United States.
Throughout the years I have lived, studied, and worked in 5 different countries on 3 continents. In my many moves, I have experienced successful transitions and many more complete failures. My own experience, coupled with my observation of other people’s experiences, motivated me to search for answers as to why do we sometimes fail and how to succeed when moving to a new culture. This quest led me to pursue a Master's in Intercultural Psychology and complete a coaching certification and a practitioner certification in NLP.
With these tools in hand, I found myself equipped to help expats and expats-to-be overcome the challenges of moving so they can create their best life abroad.
For more about me visit www.deborahdahab.com or GET IN TOUCH HERE.
