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A Plumber? During a Pandemic?

A PLUMBER? DURING A PANDEMIC?Most of us want things we know to be impossible.  And yet the most common dreams allegedly involve one's teeth falling out, flying through the sky, and being chased or hunted.  Were I a dream interpreter, I would say you wish you could afford a foreign holiday but are being pursued by a dentist waving an unpaid bill.  He clearly wants a foreign holiday as well.

Did Cassandra bet on the horses?

DID CASSANDRA BET ON THE HORSES?Cassandra, remember her, a soothsayer who actually told the sooth? The only trouble was, no one listened to her, because she was a Greek - no, wait till the end of the sentence - a Greek priestess cursed by Apollo the Sun-god.  (Those sun gods, eh?)  So nobody ever paid any attention to Cassandra's prophecies even though they all came true eventually.  She was a sybil who was never faulty. 

Turning the Corona Corner

URNING THE CORONA CORNERI may be mistaken - you're nodding already - but I can't help feeling the world has taken a wrong turn at some point.  We've all done it, even satnavs aren't perfect, perhaps we would be as well using tom-toms, there's a joke there if you want it. 

Bingo Fury - you’re not allowed to play it

BINGO FURY - YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO PLAY ITSince the bingo raid at Almadena when armed police burst into a bar where they were playing the game and arrested everybody, bingo has stopped. All the clientele were fined 350 euros each, which they refused to pay. The money was finally paid when the police agreed they would give it to charity.

Pass the Vaccine, Please

PASS THE VACCINE, PLEASEEvery age brings forth great men.  Scholars, painters, literary geniuses, musical virtuosos, inventors and newspaper journalists.  (Incidentally, it's rude to laugh when someone is being serious.)

Looking On the Bright Side

LOOKING ON THE BRIGHT SIDEIf laptops had come along earlier, I would have learned to compute at school and would not now be pecking at my keyboard with only one finger.  

Does the Virus Dislike Children?

DOES THE VIRUS DISLIKE CHILDREN?I chased after the circus caravans as they trundled out of town but perhaps fortunately never caught up with them.  I wouldn't have been a very good tightrope walker or trapeze artist, owing to my fear of heights, and would have felt uneasy putting my head into a lion's mouth on account of my fear of enclosed spaces.  Although my wife reckons I would have made a good clown.  

Portugal Best

PORTUGAL BESTPortugal can become the 6th most important country in the EU!