A gnome - stop me if you've heard this before - is a short statement encapsulating a general truth. Gnomes are maxims, and nothing to do with a restaurant in Paris. Growing older, one knows more but understands less.
According to the Rolling Stones, time is on my side. With a career spanning six decades, they certainly seem to speak (or sing) from experience.
Christian Brueckner, the so-called “prime suspect” in the Madeleine McCann mystery, is expected to be released from prison in Germany tomorrow, Sept 17th, after serving a seven-year sentence for the rape of a woman in Portugal.
We all need expert help at times. My favourite instruction manual has got to be "How to Attach a Space Shuttle to a 747 Spacecraft." It's right up there with "If you cannot read English, do not use this product." Which is useful advice before attempting a Space Shuttle assembly.
We peel potatoes if we are the designated potato peeler in our family. Strangely, given the great variety of verbs in the English language and the great variety of potatoes, we never speak of 'fleecing' potatoes or 'skinning' potatoes, or even 'shaving' or 'flaying' them, do we? We prefer to remain in our comfort zone, so peeling it is.
Obsolete items rusting in my attic include, in no particular order of vintage, an Amstrad word processor, a sundial, a golf ball typewriter, a stone hot-water bottle, flared trousers, a quill pen, carbon paper, pointy winklepicker shoes, a toasting fork, a fax machine and a box of Betamax video cassettes. And some telephone directories.
America has its Carole King (83), and now Britain has its Carolean King (76). Which of them would you rather hear sing? Is Carole's voice still sending out musical notes? Will Charles live long enough to send himself a telegram?
Behind every great fortune there is a crime, wrote the French author Balzac, by which reckoning my ancestors must have been extremely law-abiding. As pure as the driven neige.
